Perhaps we are exactly where we are meant to be…

Posted on September 14, 2011

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A brief word while I re-caffeinate myself.

I have had reason recently to reflect on a few things.

I love comedy. I admire immensely comedians who can do the crazy, way-out stuff that practically makes me wet my pants with laughter. Perhaps not surprisingly, I wanted to do it as well – stand-up. But I simply had no idea about how to do it. I did some work with Tim Ferguson early last year in a weekend workshop which was a great help but when push came to shove, I simply could not face it. This was more than the usual fear of public speaking – I have had enough practice at that over the years to be comfortable in front of an audience. I no longer need to make a dive for the rostrum to hide the fact that my left leg was quietly doing its own Elvis Presley impersonations. But getting out there and doing comedy proved to be too big a thing once I finally was faced with the opportunity. The state of my nerves and my sheer bravado are simply not what they were in my pre-breakdown days. So it seemed that opportunity had come knocking and gone.

In mid-October, I finally make that debut as a stand-up. And this has come about in no small part, due to Tyra Banks of all people.

You see, I was working backwards to come to that realisation.

This comedy opportunity came about after I saw a quite discrete poster advertising a 12-week comedy workshop program for people with mental health issues. Well, I certainly qualify there. I saw this poster at uni where I am currently working on a Master of Arts by research.

This Masters opportunity arose because I previously studied at the University of Canberra back in 2008, doing a Graduate Diploma in Professional Writing. It was that which lead in 2010 to a senior member of the staff encouraging me to return to do these research studies.

I was only able to return to uni full-time back in 2008 because I had been thrown onto the invalidity scrapheap the year before. Those studies were part of my pursuit of my dream to be a working writing.

While I had wanted to be a writer for some years and had a small but slowly growing portfolio of published work, it was during my all-too-regular sick leave prior to the forced retirement on invalidity that I found myself watching Banks’s talk show, Tyra. In fact I found myself watching it quite regularly. And yes I am both honest enough and shallow enough to admit that it was the attractions of the delectable Ms Banks that initially drew me there. That and being too sick to do much else and too bored not to watch some daytime television. And on one episode, Tyra’s big message was about the importance of having and pursuing your dream.

Having a lot of time on my hands back then, I did a lot of thinking about that. Being a writer was my big dream so why not pursue it much more vigorously than I had been to that date. The invalidity, as painful, upsetting and both morally and spiritually catastrophic as it was, provided me with that opportunity.

So it was by taking on board Tyra’s message and deciding to pursue that dream which has indirectly lead to another dream on the verge of being realised. Which recently made me wonder if in fact I am exactly where I am meant to be, right at this time.

Peace and out

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